Saturday, November 15, 2008

How Previous Experiences Influence Your Life

Sociologist Herbert Mead formulated a theory called social behaviorism, which explicated why past social experiences form an individuals' personality. George Herbert Mead didn't believe that personality was developed by drives or biologically, but more on socially terms.

He declared that the self developed only when people interact with one another. Without the interaction of others, an individual cannot develop a personality. A representative of this is whenever a child is left in absolute isolation for a long time then they do not mature both physically or mentally.

Next, social experience is all-important, and this includes the exchange of symbolizations. Only people attach significances to words and symbols. If you tell a dog to sit and it obeys then you may give it a snack. However, this does not mean it acknowledges why to sit down, but it acts so to get food. You can tell a dog to sit for several reasons such as wanting to impress your friends, or to calm down because it is running all over the place.

As well, Mead noted that understanding individual aims is critical. This will help us to break down how an individual will respond even before we act. For example, as we're driving we all foresee what others might do because of experience. If an individual behind you is speeding up rather quickly, then you can assume that they are about to switch lanes, or you can presume that they are in a hurry and need to get somewhere quickly. George Herbert Mead refers to this as taking another individual's role.

Another important theory that is associated social behaviorism is the looking glasses self. This is basically like mirroring what we believe others think of us. If we think others view you as being "fine-looking," then you will see yourself as being good looking, or if you believe people think that you are fat then you will bear that image of yourself. People adopt the roles of other people during development.

Infants have very little knowledge so they tend to mime others. Kids often have creative minds and adopt roles of other significant others or people specified parents that have a special importance in their social developing. For example, children will play house in which someone will assume the role of a mother whilst another take that of a father. As they old children will learn to take several roles and adjust to their surroundings. As we continue to mature, we will continue to see shifts in our social life.

There are many critics of Mead's theories and some claim that he centers overmuch on the society in developing an individual's behavior.

Another sociologist Erik H. Erikson expressed that unlike Freud who considered that personality was pretty much carved in stone in the first couple of years of an individual's life, that personality changes in stages and occurs all the way up to death. His theory is not altogether that accurate as well, because people experience modifications in different orders and time.

Through all of the dissonances, sociologists broadly agree on this main idea, and that's that the family has the biggest impact on an individual's socialization abilities. When an individual is an infant they have no control and commonly rely on their parents and family members to help upbringing them. Through family, they acquire several of communication techniques such as trust, acculturation, and beliefs. Don't get me wrong, not all learning comes exclusively from family; they can come from the surroundings as well because in a lot of cultures they use the environment to help raise a child. I guess the saying is true, in which it takes a "village to raise a child." It may not be astonishing to you that different socio-economic class* tend to raise their children differently.

An interesting survey that took place in the United States compared what a low-class family would want in a child equated to that of an upper class family. A lower class family would usually prefer obedience and conformity while an upper class family would tend to favor creative thinking and good judgment (NORS, 2003). Have you ever wondered why?

Well the reason is lower class workers tend to have jobs that they must be very submissive in and are highly supervised. Subconsciously they are gearing their children towards that route and will even use physical punishment to attain it. In upper class workers, they tend to have jobs that inspire individuality and creativity that is very similar to the traits they would like to have in their children.

School also has a large effect on an individual's personalities. If you think about it, you spend a huge chunk of time each day at school. It's also interesting to note that children tend to play with people, as the same race and gender, and those boys are more physical and aggressive while girls are better behaved. Boys also tend to find abstract activities more exciting like computer game* and girls tend to be more artistic. The same thing follows when they get to college, as boys tend to major in physical sciences, and computing while girls usually major in humanities and arts. In school is where children discover peer groups or an individual that has similar interest as them.

People tend o indemnify more with their peer groups and can have conversations about things they understand like clothes, music, and style. Peer groups are a way for individuals to run away adult supervision, and people are usually more free-spoken in peer groups. During the adolescent years, people incline to identify more with their peer groups because they identify themselves as an adult and that's also a time in which parents are concerned about with who their children hang around because they know that who they hang around with influence their behavior deeply.

During these years the mass medium* heavily affects individuals as well. Studies have demonstrated that television have made people more passive and lessoned their creative thinking. In the United States we spend the most time watching TV and own the most television set* per household.

by Werner Boersch
To free from any influence on your personality enjoy the benefits of Meditation, to attain fast real results, to discover Your Higher Self, Your Spirituality, to Live in the Flow of Your true Nature, Meditation and Yoga

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Relaxation Techniques For Children

Relaxation techniques for kids are very similar to those for us adults. Sometimes even the best natured and relaxed kid does need to calm down some. It is not always easy for a child to calm down, not that it is all that easy for adults sometimes either. It is our job as parents to make sure that our kids are prepared for life, and life sometimes includes stress and the need to relax. So give them the tools that they need early and it will help to make things easier for them later on.

It is usually good to use the KISS method for things, Keep It Simple Stupid. So when adapting relaxation techniques for use by kids I have tried to simplify them a little bit.

Music

Using music as a way to help your child to relax has many benefits. It is a passive method, it can be used with no real effort from us. Music can be something that we react to, so listening to calm music can have a calm effect on us. The hard part with kids is to find the right music. Kids can be very picky, if you do not pick calming music that they like, it can just add to their agitation. What I have found is to often not use "kids music" at all, so leave Dora and the WIggles out. I tend to go with some lesser known music that my little one loves, John Mann, Spirit of the West, Larry Kirwan, Great Big Sea and some other celtic artists. Her iTunes library has a playlist just for going to sleep with all of those artists on it. Do try those artists, but all little kids will be different of course. Besides any of the relaxation benefits it can also help to develop a love of music which can last a lifetime.

Breathing

Breathing techniques are the first active relaxation technique to learn. They are very broadly applicable, and can be used in almost any situation at any time. So to keep this one very simple for kids. Breathe in through your nose. Hold the breath for a few seconds. Then breathe out through your mouth. Just have them put one of their hands on their stomach to see it rise and fall as you want them to be breathing through their stomach. Thats it, just have them practice that when they are calm, and they can get used to doing it so they can do it when they need it,

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Here is a bit of a harder technique to learn but as with a lot of things the more work you are willing to put into something the more benefits that you gain from it. For kids you want to have them think about the muscles of one area of their body at a time. The groups I recommend for kids are feet and legs, and hands and arms. Have them start with a foot, concentrate on tightening these muscles, and letting them relax, repeat 2 or 3 times. Then the other foot, the legs, and right on through the list. Do not let the kid get frustrated if this is not very easy for them to begin with. It does take practice.

These 3 simple things should help you child get a good start on being able to calm down when needed.

For more information on relaxation techniques for kids and adults read the stress management on my site.

Aaron Drake is the author of the Relaxation Techniques Made Easy website.

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